Notorious Blogger, Blue Skelton has decided to open a new Star Wars Church named the Dark Church of the Sith in response to a group in Britain who have tried to make The Jedi doctrine a recognized religion. More on the
Blue Skelton felt that if the Jedi were to be represented as a religion then The Sith should have their own religious rights as well to counteract the narrow-minded Dogma of the Jedi. Like the Church of the Jedi, the Sith Church will teach meditation and force training but it will also train its members in the dark side of the force. Training will include:
1. How to talk trash better than a pansy-ass Jedi.
2. Showing female Jedi the dark side of the force.
3. Controlling fear and unleashing anger.
4. Strategies to take over the galaxy.
5. Slicing apart Jedi Padawan’s with Lightsabers.
6. Shoot Lightning from their finger-tips.
7. Know the true power of the dark side.
8. How to use many abilities that some consider to be unnatural.
9. And much much more.
As an added bonus for joining the
Let’s not let these pitiful Jedi show us up. Lets show them the true nature of the force and make the Sith the dominant force in the Star Wars Religion. If any of you have ideas for this project you can leave a comment or email me at blueskelton@gmail.com
2 comments:
Let us show the galaxy that we hold the true secrets of the Force.
Dear Blueskeleton,
I have seen much of these so called Jedi. They are weak minded fools. We must ban together and show the galaxy the TRUE nature of the force.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
Anyone who doubts the veracity of these claims need only think on these few examples.
Thousands of Years ago, Sun Tzu wrote the immortal words, " The art of war is of vital importance
to the State. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which can on no account be neglected."
Peace is a Lie.
No nation, or people ever gained strength with out passion.
It was passion that stired the people of the United States of America to war in their fight for independance. It was passion again that stired them to war over the issues of self determination and equal freedom for all durring the civil war. It was PASSION that incited the sleeping giant of America to enter into World War II, and PASSION that awoke the fervor of America to destroy the fanatical islamist terrorists after 9/11.
Through Passion, I gain Strength.
It was the United State's passion that gave us the strength to win these conflicts. It transversely all the United State's fickle nature as a democratic society that when the Public's passion wanes our strength so too fails. Take for example, the failures of both Vietnam and our current struggles in Iraq/Iran and the War on Terror. The Strength we display is corrolated in no small way to the Passion which is expressed by the people!
Through strength, I gain Power.
Power. The ability to impose your will on others. Power for many of the most misguided people in the world is the ultimate end. It is however, simply a means. Power gained by strength, and fueled by passion is what allows us to achieve Victory. VICTORY. Victory is the goal, because...
Through Victory, my chains are broken.
It is the ultimate design of the Sith Religion to provide TRUE freedom to its follows. The thing that the Sith understand which the rest of the world, and hippy liberal minded democrats and jedi alike will NEVER understand is that, victory is the only thing that secures your freedom. VICTORY, not apeasement, NOT peace. The world, the NATURAL world does not now peace. The natural world is in a constant condition of contention and competition. The Sith relgion understands this and accounts for it. Freedom isn't free. Freedom is not synonymous with peace. Freedom is synonymous with VICTORY.
The force shall set me free.
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